MaybeJust Maybe
by Nikkitaa
Summary: Kerry had a point, and he'd thought about it before, but could it really be that simple? All the things Jack thinks about after Kerry breaks up wit him. I suck at summaries... it's better then it sounds.. S/J Oneshot


_**Characters are not mine.. blah blah blah...**_

* * *

_ You could always retire…._

The words rang in his mind as she left his office. Truthfully it was something that he had thought about… a lot. After all, they had, as she said, appointed a civilian to run the SGC before, if that was what he was afraid of. On top of that, he would be the most experienced and qualified civilian for the job, should he really want it, and he was sure that even the president would suggest it.

But at this point something else plagued his mind. To what point and purpose would retiring now serve? Sure his feelings for Sam had not changed, had not been deflected by her engagement to Pete. In fact if anything it had only served to intensify them, so much so that every contact with Major Carter had caused him nothing more or less than pure agony.

The mission briefings and debriefing, no matter how short, were always the hardest and proved to be a test of his carefully crafted mask and patience. He often found himself snapping at the most innocent comments or questions, even and perhaps most especially when they came from Carter. It wasn't her fault, and he knew it and yet no matter what he did he couldn't stop himself, often having to settle for brief apologies accompanied by lame excuses. It was foolish and above all very childish of him and he had no problem admitting it.

After all, did he honestly expect Sam to sit around by herself? Alone and unhappy? He knew that wasn't really what he wanted for her, but it had been easier to delude himself into believing that she would not fall for someone else when there hadn't been anyone else.

Now that there was, he wanted her to be happy, but he still wished that it was him that could make her feel that way and hated Pete for his chance to do so. There was no denying it, Pete was a lucky man. He had the chance to do everything that Jack had wanted to do for the last eight years.

Being the commander of such an elite team had been a privilege, and had made the four of them much closer than mere friends. It was a bond of inexplicable magnitude, forged by so many adventures and life threatening situations faced together. Each member of SG 1 felt like nothing less than family to him, and was in fact the closest he had come to family since his son's death. He knew that they all felt the same way, and that was what made them such a special group of people.

But Sam… Sam was different…. Had been since the moment she'd entered the briefing room all those years ago. She was strong, resilient, proud, loving, brilliant, charismatic, and honest and so many other wonderful things and after losing her to Pete, he had pushed her even farther away, out of pure jealousy and personal pain.

It's funny how much you can miss something you never had, and the pain that comes from losing something that was never really yours, and he had no one to blame but himself for the way things had turned out. Instead of just accepting what the rules and regs had already determined, he just pushed her away, pushing the tension to a maximum and threatened to lose her as a friend as well.

But things had to change. In the end, he could someday accept her marriage to Pete, but losing her completely was something he could NEVER live with. If he allowed it to happen, he would hate himself forever, there was no question about it.

His revelation coming not a moment too soon. Her father lay in the infirmary, his death inevitable, and now was when she needed him the most. Not as her CO, not as the commander of the SGC, but as her friend. Someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay and he knew that he was the one to do it, he was the one that she would allow to see past her calm façade and be there for her in her time of need.

Silently he made his way to the observation room above the room where her father was being treated. He stopped in the doorway, the sight before him one that he hated to see. Without even entering the room, the sadness and pain she was feeling hit him like a brick wall. It was awful to see her in such despair, especially knowing that a part of it was his fault.

He made his way to her side and took the seat beside her. Taking a moment before speaking he looked at her appraisingly. She was so incredibly pale, her brilliant blue eyes dim with sadness and bloodshot from crying. Her face a mask attempting, without success, to hide the pain she felt, trying to the strong and fearless leader she had proven herself to be time and time again. Had he not known her so well, he was sure her mask would have fooled him, but he, of course, knew better.

"You ok?" he asks, already knowing the answer

"Actually I'm fine." She replied, tears in her eyes and her voice thick with emotion "Good even, strange as that sounds. I thought I lost him four years ago, since then we've been closer than we ever were my whole life. In a way Selmack gave me the father I never thought I'd know. "

He could see the pain in her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. She hid behind her logic, but he knew full well that inside she was screaming.

"C'mere" he said, scooting his chair a little closer to her and wrapping his arm securely around her shoulder, as he had done so many times in the past. He had been such a fool to allow himself to drift from her, to allow himself to wallow in self pity as she struggle through one of the hardest times of her life.

She took the hand draped across her shoulder and held it as if for dear life. This was what she had needed. The comfort that such a small and insignificant gesture brought to her was indescribable. The mere knowledge that he was there for her was enough to ease the pain, and reassure her that things really were going to be all right.

She knew know why her father had been so adamant about not letting the rules stand in her way. For eight years they had danced around each other, unable to do anything about the way they had been feeling. She had taken refuge in the arms of another hoping against hope that it would distract her from, if not bury completely, the feelings she felt for the only man in the world she could not have, the only man she had really ever wanted.

"Thank you sir" she said

"For what?"

"Being here for me." She said, her voice cracking

"Always" he said.

She turned to look at him, her eyes no longer shielding the emotions bubbling within her. She could see the honesty in his eyes, and she could see the resolve. She knew he meant it as much more than simple comfort, he meant forever. And she knew that this was what they both wanted, and knew that today she would have to deliver some bad news to someone who had become caught in the middle of all this. A man who deserved much better and would now be free to seek it.

And she was right, about everything. Too long had they avoided it, resting on the edges of their emotions, unable to feel what they had so desperately wanted to feel. Too long had they been kept apart by things that could be so easily dealt with. No longer would he stand idly by and watch as the most precious thing in this world slipped away and into the arms of another.

As she left the room to go and be with her father in his finally moment, he sighed. He knew what he would have to do. When all of this was over, when Anubis was no longer a viable threat, he would leave. He would remove himself as commander of SGC and therefore remove the barricade that had kept them apart.

He watched as she kissed her father's head, and allowed the wall she had kept in place so long to fall. In all this sadness, maybe, just maybe, he would be able to bring her one tiny ray of happiness. Be able to see that smile he loved so much cover her now tear streaked face…. To see those beautiful electric blue teary eyes sparkle with joy…

Maybe, Just Maybe…

* * *

**A/N: Sooooooooo... whatd'ya think??All reviews are both welcome and very much appreciated.**


End file.
